Of The Sleepless Nights

Its come to pass that this blog is My repository for complaints and issues I just can't or won't openly vocalize otherwise. When did I become a diary writer? I'll just tack it up to the domestication like many other things I do now.

For as long as I can recall sex has been a replacement for affection, and for the most part that is still true. More specifically she has become more affectionate than she used to be this pregnancy, but it seems at the cost of sex lately. It's been over a month since Wwe've done anything sexual, and not for lack of time or energy for once. It also hasn't been for lack of trying on My part I think. I've tried being subtle, and not so subtle, and the next stage is usually the 'fuck it' stage. Not this time though, as My mind slips into two different tracks of thought.

That first track is to be expected if you know anything of Me. Take what I want by force, and I don't mean just being rougher than usual. Think about that a moment, then feel free to get disgusted and close this blog out without finishing. If you're still reading would mentioning I would relish it to some degree run you off? Now that I'm finished with that I'll move on to My real concern, that other train of thought.

I'm not a self-conscious person. I think and feel what I want and give little care what anyone else thinks of it or Me. At least that is who I've been the better part of My life. These unwanted thoughts have been creeping into My mind slowly over the past year. Is it My fault? Am I less attractive now, since I have been putting on more weight? Have I been too aggressive? Not aggressive enough?

I've slept like shit lately because of all these thoughts, and I feel like doing next to nothing because of how exhausting it can be to keep My thoughts and actions in check and care for the kids. Hence the importance of her becoming more affectionate, as it is probably one of the only things keeping Me from slipping into anger and forceful actions because of My frustrations.

And now I'm done for now, and Wwe will see what comes of it.

Well Rested

For once in a long time. The bonus is I have a theory as to why. Last night while in bed I recieved a bit of attention below the waist from My doting girl. Nothing too involved like oral, just some gentle petting. It was relaxing, and that is something I have a hard time doing on My own. Now I doubt the region in question was the main component in that relaxation [in other words kissing/caressing someplace like the back would work too]. But that's all for now, its late, its raining, I'm the only one awake, and I need sleep. Just wanted that said while it was still on My mind.

A Swell Of Darkness

I know the wifey is loving and considerate, and 99% of the time she is a very good girl. The problem right now is mostly with Me. I have a few darker delights that I won't own up to publicly, even on an anonamous blog that no one reads. Ofcourse she knows about it, and didn't overreact when she found out. Which says a lot about how much love there is in the relationship. The problem comes during these long stints of no or sporatic intamacy. Last night after several not so subtle hints something needed to be said. During these long stints those thoughts and desires well up at an alarming rate until I need to do something about it. And I did. Last week I indulged those urges but have been hiding the evidence, up until now anyways since I'm removing it completely like she asked Me to do before. I don't like the fact that this...sickness...is rooted so deeply in Me. I just try to survive with it until I figure out how to be rid of it.

A Turn Of Events

It has been no secret that the sexlife of this relationship has suffered because of the third pregnancy. It's no small miricle that I've learned to deal with the lack of said attention pretty well. Such was not the case the night before last, and without further adue...

For whatever reason I was near enough her she could be naughty and play with My ass. After that continued for a couple moments I promptly interposed Myself between her hands and the kids field of view. Yes I'm a bit perv around the kids when they aren't looking, its My nature. Like the good girl she can be she played with it through My boxers with the promise of more later. Now I've heard that line before so I thought nothing of it and went on with the rest of the night preparing dinner and putting the kids down for bed. But...

As I sat down and got settled in she came over and knelt down between My feet, to which I promptly slid My drawers off so she wasn't impeaded. Much to My delight she began expertly stroking My shaft.

And let Me just say when I say expertly I mean it. In nearly 5 years of being together shes stroked Me off 5 times, sucked Me off once, and I've cum inside her during sex more times than I can count. This might not seem like a big deal but it is, I'm one of those that usually has to finish Himself off. Too much damage from extreme sports I think. Now back to your regularly sceduled post.

Now before long she began sucking, another sensation I'd missed during the tired stent that was her pregnancy. Neither action lasted nearly long enough to make Me climax, which doesn't bother Me since it's just as enjoyable to masterbate while shes eagerly watching. And watch she did laying semi-comfortably on the floor. After I finished she continued to play with herself for a bit down there before moving to the couch I vacated.

Kissing, licking, sucking, stroking her inner thighs...all while she played...continued for nearly as long as her stroking and sucking combined with My masterbation. Eventually the scent of her arrousal was more than I could stand being so close so I began tasting, running My tongue along that hot dampened slit. Then quite rapidly she falling over the edge. One right after another she came and came until, five climaxes later, she was spent and too sensitive for more.

Though I noticed I hadn't gone soft the entire time I didn't take her as badly as I wished too. After all, we've had a scare with the past pregnancy and neither of Uus want to risk that again. And well, thats all for the story of the night before last.