A Cycle Renewed

Let us start with this when we woke up. It was with a back rub, firm enough to relax muscles without being forceful. This alone told of a great start to the new year but then things improved drastically. After she finished I rolled from My stomach to My side and pressed My back agianst her lightly expecting an arm around Me and some cuddling while still half asleep. At first thats just what I got, but after several long moments her hand inched down and began petting and stroking.

This was even more promising. Once I'm worked up and ready to roll over and do a bit of fondling and playing Myself someone wakes up. Thats fine, after all, she's off from work today and through practice and patience I've gotten the princess [4 months old] and baby godzilla [19 months old] to both nap around noon and stay down till 2 atleast. So whats started will be finished later....

Atleast that was the initial assumption. Once both of the kiddos were down I learned differently. Now I'm not saying I was expecting an hour and a half long hard fucking. That would just be ignorant and insensitive on My part. She's in the middle of her first trimester with the third pregnancy, and this time the sickness is a bit worse than before. So when they went down I was hoping and expecting a bit of playing, maybe some oral or just a bit of stroking then I would finish.

Me finishing has never been a problem, she does so well at working Me up that I'm worked up for a few days. So much that thinking about some of the things we've done is all it takes for Me to need another release. So when she can't physically help she does so with a few words to spark some thoughts. In the end, sex and even masterbation for Me isn't just a matter of doing it. There's is emotion there, so if she doesn't want anything to do with it I'm just not interested.

The problem lies in her working Me up then wanting nothing to do with it. I love being teased, under the assumption that in the near future there will be a release. We've had conversations about her doing this and how much I hate it...we've had arguements about it...I've punished her over it...but it still happens. Not to say she doesn't improve, for a time, after I confront her about it.

Back to the matter at hand, todays digression. Both kids are down, and while she was in the kitchen I slip in and press close to her. I run My hands over her body, kiss the back of her neck. She doesn't react, not in a favorable way anyways, so I whisper 'both kids are asleep, time for both of us to strip.' Mind you, humor is a big part of our relationship and more than one time Me joking about wanting sex has ended up with us having great sex. Her answer was no, 'I don't think so' to be exact [I think]. As I walk away I say 'I expected that.' Cold. Monotone. And a beat later 'Yet you still tried, I have to give you kudos for that.'

At that point I was ready to either scream and yell or shut down. Given My violence tendancies when I yell I chose to shut down, sitting down at the computer in silence and waiting/watching her for a moment. No sign of remorse, pentance, or even that she realizes shes done it yet again. So I went to take a shower, fume a bit in the hot water, and then came and typed this up. Still no clue that she's upset Me, over on the couch eating a piece of cake and doing puzzles.

That's it for now....we'll see what she says after reading this.